Blogosaurus

(Note: a bit of topical humor I rescued from an email to a friend, after hearing Kerry's decidedly State of the Union-like convention acceptance speech.)

BUSH: ...Too many Americans find themselves cut off from the multitude of television channels that other Americans take for granted. They find themselves leading basic lives under the cruel sentence of basic cable. That is why, Mr. Speaker, I call for a national premium channel benefit, so that no child is left behind without HBO Family. And no budding young filmmaker finds himself unable to watch his own movie on the Sundance Channel.

[Republicans rise and cheer.]

30 minutes later, on Hardball:

DASCHLE: ...Wellllll, Chris, I'm just disappointed that the president said nothing about making sure that every American has a cellular phone with the ability to download unique rings based on the latest hiphop hit singles. [Dismayed shake of head.] I meet a lot of people, hardworking South Dakotans, whose cell phones still have black and white screens and just make a BRRRING-BRRRING noise. [Look of dismayed concern.] And I want colorful phones that can play Ludacris and Missy Elliott for all Americans, not just for the wealthy and the special interests. [Dismayed exhalation of nasal passages.]